Liar liar pants on fire.Why do people lie? This classmate of mine clearly told me sometime ago that she failed her essay and I saw tears swelling up in her eyes like it will spill out anytime at the refectory but yesterday she changed her story and said I heard it wrongly she did pass her essay. I swear to god I did hear clearly that she did indeed failed her essay. Why does she have to lie? I mean I'm not a mean person if she fails so be it. I'm not going to laugh at her infact I'll try my best to console her I mean thats what friends for right? A mean friend hope that you will fail in life but a nice friend will console and hope that you pass your next essay. Why do you have to lie? I'm not saying that I have never lied before, I lie when I have to save my own ass in a die die situation or in order not to hurt someone's feelings. Whats the point of lying when you have to continue to live a lie and someday the fear of having it exposed right in your face? Lying is not good because sooner or later people will know and realised that you are indeed lying some mean ass will expose ur lies. To my friends who lies I know and I'm not someone who expose your lies so your secret is safe with me. I'm not stupid by looking at your expression I can figure out myself. From today onwards, I will never ever lie ever again because I don't want to end up like her.
I'm feeling vexed cos I will have to come back to this terrible place to do summer unit cos I failed one of my units last year. Firstly, it is an intensive 5 day course which mean I will have to study from 9am to 5pm every single day. Imagine putting a 3 month course into 5 days. Secondly, my family will be here which mean I won't be able to have time for them which makes me so upset cos I really want them to see my life not in this way, but the places I love, the air I breathe. So I msg my brother upset and crying again shortly after he msg me back, 'me, daddy, mama, bearion and lina all loves you and will support and you are special to us always, so why are you letting little things like that in your life affect you? So what if you fail? we all fail sometime in life, failing a unit or 2 doesn't mean you will fail for the rest of your life. We fail sometimes because god wants us to learn and grow perhaps god is testing you now if you give up you will not only disappoint all of us and also god.' But best part is my family will be here during my course which means..... YAY!! I don't have to cook mama, papa will cook while kor kor and lina and bearion will be entertaining me! (I'm a buddhist by the way) this reminds me something my late grandma told my mom once shortly after I was born, she lifted my thin layers of hair and looked at me and later looked at my plam and said 'this little girl of yours will have a wonderful life when she grows up but there are many obstacles she has to overcome before she can enjoy the sweetness of life. Perhaps this is one of the many obstacles I had to overcome. My fairytale is waiting for me patiently.
When I was much younger I never believed that theres god. Infact I hated the word god I used to think that people with religion are pure nutcase. During those days, drinking and smoking was my life, people who offer me drugs were my god. I blamed god whenever things goes wrong, thinking that if theres god there wouldn't be problems because he would take them all away and burn it. But as I grew older, I begin to accept the fact that I am born a buddhist, it will always be a huge part of me. I begin to understand why my parents takes our religion so seriously.
My mom gave my this buddha pendant one day and said this is to keep you safe and keeps your soul peaceful always. Indeed whenever I feel upset whenever I feel that my world is crashing down I would hold the pendant in my hands.
Memories lasts a lifetimeI'm packing my things now, memories drifting in n out of my mind. I arrived here with a boyfriend and now I'm without one. I arrived here with ring on my finger and now I'm without one. I arrived here with someone who loves me and now I'm without one. So much has changed within a year I wonder where I will be today, next year.
Life is a gift from god and I will cherish my everyday, even if with the worse problems,I will make sure I'll overcome it with a smile on my face because I have yet to taste the sweetness of life! I told my brother I love him for the love,courage and laughter he never fails to bring me,he is indeed my true best friend. When we were young he would often bully me calling me a pig and the ugliest girl in the world and I would in return hit his head with my collection of Barbie dolls. As time goes by, we realised that we only have eachother to depend on,during his tough army days he would often call me to talk about his day and I would buy his favourite food every saturday waiting for him to come home. We began our friendship,a bond so strong I strongly think that it will last us a life time. I reckon even when we are 70 I'll still be calling you ah pui and you calling me bai ku jing.
To my best friend, who will continue to worry for me, make me laugh, hug me when I cry,
My brother Ronnie,this page is dedicated to you.
A mean friend will secretly pray that you will fall and die immediately,a true friend will be there to lift you up and tell you 'not to be afraid I'll always be there for you.'I have fallen but not to worry I be back on track soon.
