Who the fuck stole my seaweed?

Early in the fucking morning i discovered somebody ate my seaweed and the best part is, threw the empty package right at my rubbish bin. Whoever who did that FUCK U. You lowly creature who is so fucking poor that you can't afford your own pack of seaweed, u better don't let me find out who the fuck u r otherwise I let u die a horrible death.
Adding to my angry, jeff has got a date with his boss for dinner and movie tonight and I'm not allowed to go watch movie with them. Jeff, use your fucking brains and think, who is the one who ALWAYS get you in to super fucking exclusive VIP movie previews? Its ME you fucking dick head!
No wonder, don't want to watch superman with me, you pig! To hell with superman!